hollow

and just like that 

that old, familiar loneliness 

snaps right back into place

and you snap at every word I say

ignoring the pain on my face

and just like that

I am alone in your presence again

wishing you would still be my friend 

that you would notice how hard I try

but I am hollow 

and my tears have run dry

how I long to go back to the days 

when you were open and grateful for life

to a time when you were fulfilled 

and you didn’t wield silence like a knife

sometimes I think 

being lonely 

wouldn’t hurt like being alone 

if the loneliness wasn’t so often 

in your company

or inside our home

and just like that 

the demons have come back to haunt 

the darkness ensnares me

just like a slave 

and I know I’ll never be what you want 

I am broken 

exhausted 

defeated 

I am fighting for every breath 

and every day that it keeps piling on 

makes me wonder 

how much fight 

I have left…